The check-list

💭 1. Self-Doubt and Narcissism

It all begins with self-reflection and self-awareness in relationships. That nagging thought questioning if you might be too self-centered in your relationships is normal—especially when you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse. Remember, questioning your behavior is a sign of growth and self-reflection, not evidence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or narcissism itself. Embracing self-awareness in relationships is your first step toward overcoming narcissistic behavior.

❌ 2. Why You’re Likely Not a Narcissist

Here’s a crucial point: if you’re second-guessing yourself and feeling genuine remorse for your mistakes, you're likely not the narcissist. True narcissists, who are central to the cycle of narcissistic abuse, typically lack the self-reflection needed to question their own actions—they’re too busy believing they’re perfect. Your ability to critically assess your actions indicates you’re on the right track toward personal growth and healing from toxic relationship patterns.

🔄 3. Projection, Mimicry, and “Picking Up Fleas” from the Narcissist

Relationships can be tricky, especially when you're involved with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits. Sometimes, you may even find yourself "picking up fleas from the narcissist"—absorbing unhealthy habits without realizing it. This projection and mimicry in relationships isn’t a sign that you’re inherently narcissistic; it’s often a side effect of being immersed in a cycle of narcissistic abuse. Recognizing this can help you differentiate between your true self and the behaviors you may have picked up along the way.

👶 4. Influence of Past Experiences

Our early experiences deeply influence our behavior. If you grew up around narcissistic behavior—such as a parent who used the silent treatment or never admitted fault—you might have inadvertently learned toxic relationship patterns. Understanding the influence of past experiences on behavior is a key element of relationship reading. Once you recognize these patterns, you can take active steps toward healing and personal growth.

🌱 5. Personal Reflection and Growth

Self-discovery isn’t always easy; it takes courage to look in the mirror and confront your imperfections. But through honest self-reflection, you can overcome narcissistic behavior and start healing from narcissistic abuse. Whether it's admitting when you’re wrong or shedding deeply ingrained defensive habits, embracing personal growth empowers you to build healthier relationships and navigate complex relationship dynamics with more clarity.

⚖️ 6. The Dual Nature of Relationships

There’s something almost magical about the dynamic between a narcissist and a victim. Even if you find yourself "picking up fleas from the narcissist," it doesn’t automatically define you as the narcissist. Instead, these challenging experiences often force us to engage in deep self-reflection and relationship reading—helping us better understand our role in toxic relationship patterns. While the journey can be tough, it ultimately opens the door to becoming a more authentic, balanced version of who you truly are.

In the end, the key takeaway is simple:

Self-awareness, honest reflection, and understanding the signs of narcissistic abuse are your best tools for personal transformation. Relationships may be messy, and sometimes we absorb more than we bargain for. But by recognizing and addressing these patterns, you’re already moving toward a healthier, more genuine version of yourself. Keep the dialogue going—every discussion brings you closer to mastering and understanding the complex dynamics of narcissism and victimhood. 

Relationship Reading - could it help?

A gold standard psychic does not separate out types of reading based on subject. That's lazy and cheating - it means you already did half the work for them! They should pick up on your challenges without prompting. I go in blind to start with and I may see more than one subject. Then when we get to the part you ask questions on, we can unpack this fully. 

"She's been there, done that, got the t-shirt and come through with flying colours!" 

- Trisha Goddard, 2006