Dealing with a narcissistic partner
Navigating life with a narcissist can feel like being trapped in a never-ending reality show where you’re not only the co-star but also the designated scapegoat…
Whether you’re dodging blame for their bad day or being guilt-tripped for daring to have a boundary, escaping a narcissist’s grip can be a complicated journey. But don’t worry—you’ve got allies in this quest, and they’re just a shuffle away. Enter: tarot card readings and me your tarot reader and confidante. My tarot readings provide insight and clarity when you need it most, especially when dealing with a narcissist’s mind games.
Now let me share how my spiritual guidance and or tarot reading, can be your compass through the chaos…
Charlie Daniels, Chat 2 Charlie
The Narcissist’s Playbook (and Why You Need Yours)
“When you become aware of silence, immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present. You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective human conditioning.”
– Eckhart Tolle (Author of 'The Power of Now')
Narcissists thrive on control, confusion, and chaos. They gaslight, manipulate, and spin elaborate tales of woe that somehow always circle back to how you are the villain in their saga. It’s exhausting. That’s where a tarot reader like me comes in—to help you cut through the fog and find your footing. Think of it as having a psychic compass when you’re stuck in the Bermuda Triangle of emotional manipulation.
Many of my clients are beautiful bright empaths; my backstory is a little different, and it kinda gives me an edge…
Is It Narcissism or Something Else? Questions to Ask
“The power is within you. It always has been. How far are you willing to expand the horizons of your thinking and stir that power awake?”
– Louise Hay (Founder of Hay House Publishing, motivational author)
Before labelling someone as a narcissist, it’s essential to consider whether their behaviour stems from true narcissism or something else, such as neurodivergence. For example, individuals with ADHD or autism may occasionally come across as self-focused due to challenges in social communication or executive functioning. Ask yourself:
- Are their actions consistently manipulative, or could they be unintentional?
- Do they show remorse or willingness to adjust when their behaviour is called out?
- Are they open to constructive conversations, or do they deflect and blame?
- Does their behaviour follow a pattern of control and exploitation?
It’s important to approach these questions with self-reflection and compassion. Sometimes, people are simply wired differently rather than being malicious. The key is to distinguish between intentional harm and misunderstandings so that you can respond appropriately and protect yourself without jumping to conclusions.
Here’s where tarot readings can lend a hand. The cards can offer insights into your dynamic with this person, revealing whether the connection is salvageable or a situation to walk away from.
Why Reading Your Own Cards Can Be Tricky
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– Rumi (13th-century Persian poet and mystic)
Reading your own tarot cards can feel empowering, but it’s not without its challenges. When you’re emotionally invested in the outcome, it’s easy to misinterpret the cards to fit the narrative you want to hear rather than what you need to hear. For example, pulling a card like the Tower might signify upheaval and necessary change, but if you’re in denial, you might downplay its meaning or skip over it altogether. Similarly, the temptation to keep shuffling until you get a "better" card can prevent honest self-reflection. Bias and wishful thinking can muddy the waters, making it difficult to gain the clarity you’re seeking.
That’s why consulting someone like me, with a fresh perspective, can make all the difference. I’ll hold space for you and provide honest guidance—even when it’s tough to hear.
Your Tarot Reader: Part Psychic, Part Therapist, Full Ally
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson (American essayist and philosopher)
A skilled tarot reader isn’t just flipping cards and telling you what’s going on; they’re helping you map out a strategy. Genuine tarot readers are clairvoyant, meaning they also see things. An authentic tarot reader doesn’t simply learn the meanings of the cards, they work with context, subject and other variables. They also use other senses and vibrations, but that’s a whole other article!
Think of me as your spiritual strategist for your escape plan. Together, we’ll identify patterns, pinpoint red flags, and even predict the narcissist’s next moves (because let’s face it, narcissists are predictable once you learn their playbook).
A tarot reading can help you see these patterns more clearly and give you the confidence to call out toxic behaviour and walk away.
Recognizing Narcissistic Red Flags vs. Everyday Interactions
Hey there! Let’s dive into a subject that’s important but often tricky to navigate: recognizing narcissistic behaviour. You know those moments where something feels off, but you’re not sure if it’s a bad day or a bigger issue? Let’s break it down together so you can spot the signs and take care of yourself with confidence.
Red Flags: The Big Picture Stuff
Red flags are those clear patterns of behaviour that scream, "Something’s not right here." These are more than just one-off bad days; they’re ongoing habits that can leave you feeling drained or doubting yourself. Here are some of the biggest ones to watch out for:
- Gaslighting: This is when someone makes you question your memory or perception. They’ll flat-out deny things you know happened, leaving you wondering if you’re losing it.
- Control: Whether it’s dominating conversations, making all the decisions, or trying to micromanage your life, control is a classic narcissistic move.
- Exploitation: Narcissists have a knack for using others to get what they want, with zero consideration for how it impacts you.
- Chronic Blame-Shifting: If they never take responsibility and it’s always someone else’s fault (spoiler: it’s often yours, according to them), that’s a red flag.
These patterns don’t usually pop up all at once; they reveal themselves over time. But once you start noticing them, it’s hard to unsee them. Trust yourself when something doesn’t feel right.
Everyday Interactions: The Little Things That Add Up
Now, let’s talk about those smaller, everyday behaviours. On their own, these might not seem like a big deal, but over time, they chip away at your confidence and well-being. Here’s what to look for:
- Misplaced Blame: Ever been blamed for something completely out of your control, like the weather ruining their plans? Yeah, that’s not on you.
- Invalidation: Hearing things like, “You’re so sensitive” or “You’re overreacting” when you bring up a valid concern is a sneaky way of dismissing your feelings.
- Guilt-Tripping: Taking time for yourself shouldn’t be a crime, but they’ll make you feel like it is. Cue the, “How could you do this to me?” dramatics.
- Love-Bombing: This one’s tricky. They’ll shower you with affection and compliments at first, but the moment you set a boundary? Poof—it all disappears.
- Public vs. Private Persona: They might act like the most charming, caring person in public but turn dismissive or downright cruel behind closed doors. Talk about a double life.
- Deflection During Accountability: Confront them about something, and suddenly it’s your fault for being “too sensitive” or “making it a bigger deal than it is.” Classic deflection.
- Isolation Tactics: They might subtly (or not-so-subtly) discourage you from spending time with friends or family. Keeping you isolated gives them more control.
- Misinformation and Smear Campaigns: Ever heard them twisting the truth or spreading lies about you to others? That’s a strategy to damage your reputation and build their own army of allies.
Why Knowing the Difference Matters
Here’s the thing: Not every bad interaction means someone is a narcissist. People mess up; it’s part of being human. The key is spotting the difference between a one-time mistake and a toxic pattern.
- Isolated Incidents: If they apologize, take responsibility, and genuinely try to change, that’s a good sign it’s a one-off.
- Toxic Cycles: If the behaviour keeps happening despite your efforts to address it, you’re likely dealing with a larger issue. And let’s be honest—you deserve better than that.
How a Tarot Reading Can Help
Okay, so how does tarot fit into all this? Think of a tarot reading as your supportive friend who always has your back. It’s not about predicting the future; it’s about gaining clarity and perspective. Here’s how a tarot reading can help:
- Spotting Patterns: Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of things, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. A tarot reading or spread can help you connect the dots and identify recurring dynamics that might not be obvious at first.
- Validating Your Intuition: Narcissists are masters of making you second-guess yourself. A tarot reading offers a tangible way to reflect on your feelings and confirm what you already sense deep down.
- Exploring Your Options: Feeling stuck? A tarot reading can present new perspectives and ideas for handling difficult situations. It’s not about telling you what to do but helping you see what’s possible.
- Building Confidence: Seeing your experiences mirrored in the cards during a tarot reading can be incredibly validating. It’s like the cards are saying, “You’re not imagining this—it’s real, and your feelings are valid.”
- Uncovering Blind Spots: Sometimes, we’re so focused on one aspect of a relationship that we miss other important factors. A tarot reading can gently bring these to light, helping you make more informed decisions.
- Guidance for Boundaries: Setting boundaries with a narcissist can feel daunting. A tarot reading can help you clarify what’s most important to you and give you the courage to stand your ground.
- Empowering Decisions: Whether you’re deciding to address an issue, set a boundary, or walk away entirely, a tarot reading can help you feel more confident and grounded in your choice.
Think of a tarot reading as a conversation with your inner wisdom. It’s not about fortune-telling; it’s about reflection, clarity, and empowerment. The cards can be a helpful tool to cut through the noise and focus on what really matters—your well-being and peace of mind.
You’ve Got This!
If you’ve been nodding along to any of this, take a deep breath and remind yourself: You are not the problem here. You deserve relationships that lift you up, not ones that leave you feeling small. Whether you want to dive deeper into this topic, explore it through a tarot reading, or just talk it out, I’m here for you.
Together, we’ll figure out the next step—because you deserve clarity, peace, and all the good things life has to offer. Let’s chat soon!
Breaking Free: A Journey, Not a Sprint
“Intuition is seeing with the soul.”
– Dean Koontz (Bestselling author of suspense and horror novels)
Breaking free from a narcissist also means embracing the courage to be single, to heal, and to prioritize your well-being over jumping into a new relationship. Leaving your abuser is a monumental first step, one that requires immense strength and self-compassion. Escaping abusive relationships gives you the opportunity to reset, rediscover your worth, and build a future free from toxicity.
Through a tarot session, we can chart your progress, celebrate your small victories, and ensure you don’t repeat the same patterns. Healing is about thriving—not just surviving.
Coping Strategies, Hacks, and Tips
- Set Clear Boundaries: Be firm and consistent about what you will and won’t tolerate.
- Don’t Engage in Arguments: Trying to win an argument with a narcissist is like wrestling a pig—you’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
- Practice Detachment: Don’t take their words or actions personally.
- Seek Support: Confide in trusted friends, family, or a psychic who can validate your experiences.
- Focus on Self-Care: Meditation, exercise, and hobbies can help you recharge.
Each step you take can be supported by tarot readings that guide you toward clarity and inner strength.
How to Disarm a Narcissist: Phrases That Actually Work
If you’ve ever had to deal with a narcissist, you’ll know how frustrating those conversations can be. They have this way of twisting things around, making everything about them, and leaving you feeling exhausted. But here’s the good news: the way you respond can make a huge difference. So, let me share a few simple phrases I’ve found really helpful for keeping things calm, setting boundaries, and stopping things from spiralling out of control.
Acknowledge Without Agreeing
One trick I swear by is acknowledging their point of view without actually agreeing with it. Saying something like, “I see what you mean” or “That’s an interesting perspective” works wonders. It makes them feel heard (which is what they’re usually after) without you having to back down or agree. Just keep it neutral—no sarcasm or anything that might stir the pot.
Sometimes they may call you a nasty name or make a cruel statement. When this is the case you should firstly calmly ask them to repeat their words, this stops them and makes them think. Note if they adjust what they said or if they stick to their guns.
Next say something like “did you intend to hurt me?”. Wait for their response. Whatever they say, don’t retaliate or show emotion, in fact don’t respond at all, just nod – you’re not agreeing, you’re simply acknowledging their words. Just be careful that you don’t come over passive aggressive.
You could also try the phrase "I can see that what you just said seems intended to hurt or provoke a reaction. I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve with that, but I’d prefer we keep the conversation respectful."
Oh and don’t be surprised when they accuse you of being the problem, (top narcissist tactic) and don’t forget they are viewing you at their own negative level.
Redirect the Focus
Narcissists love to linger on blame or drama, but you don’t have to get stuck there with them. I like to use phrases like, “Let’s focus on solutions” or “What’s the best way forward?” It shifts the focus to something more productive and keeps you from getting dragged into an argument that goes absolutely nowhere.
Set Boundaries Without Drama
Sometimes, things just get too heated, and it’s okay to hit pause. I’ll say something like, “Let’s come back to this when we’re both feeling calmer” or “I need a moment to think this through; let’s revisit it later.” It’s such a simple way to protect your energy while also reminding them (and yourself!) that you’re in control of your own boundaries.
Don’t Give Away Your Power
This is a big one. Dealing with a narcissist can make you feel like you’re constantly being pushed or pulled in their direction, but remember, you have the power to stay grounded. Don’t let their words or behaviour dictate your emotions. Saying something like, “I’m not comfortable with that” or “I’m choosing to focus on what matters to me right now” can remind both you and them that you’re in control of your own choices. It’s about recognising your own strength and refusing to let their actions define your day or your mood.
If you’re into things like tarot reading, you’ll know that staying grounded is key to keeping your energy balanced. As a tarot reader, I often remind myself of this when working with clients—it’s about holding your space and not letting outside influences pull you off course.
Stay Neutral and Unflappable
Here’s the golden rule: don’t take the bait. Narcissists thrive on big emotional reactions, so the calmer and more neutral you stay, the less power they have. Even if they’re pressing all your buttons, keeping your tone steady and your words measured can completely deflate the situation. Trust me, it works.
Final Thoughts
Honestly, dealing with a narcissist is all about looking after your own energy and staying true to yourself. These strategies and phrases aren’t some kind of magic fix, but they really help keep things grounded and avoid unnecessary drama. Just remember, you don’t have to play their game. With a little practice, you’ll feel so much more in control. And hey, I’m always here if you want to talk it through! You can have your psychic reading by phone or What's app. If you can't visit in person then maybe your tarot card reading could take place on Zoom, Teams or Skype.
Empowering Playlist for Breaking Free
Music can be a powerful companion on your journey to strength and independence. Here’s a playlist to inspire resilience, empowerment, and clarity:
- "You’re So Vain" by Carly Simon - A timeless anthem for anyone who’s dealt with a self-absorbed partner. Fun fact: Carly Simon has hinted that the song was inspired by multiple people, including Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, and Kris Kristofferson, making it an iconic call-out to narcissistic behaviour.
- "Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson - A reminder that challenges can make you more resilient and unstoppable.
- " Titanium” by Sia and David Guetta – a song to help you find your inner metal
- "Survivor" by Destiny’s Child - A fierce anthem about overcoming adversity and refusing to be defeated.
- "Take a Bow" by Rihanna - A straightforward farewell to someone who doesn’t deserve your time or energy.
- "No Scrubs" by TLC - A bold reminder to keep your standards high and not settle for less than you deserve.
- "Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld - A celebration of self-love and prioritizing your happiness.
- "Bulletproof" by La Roux - A powerful track about emotional resilience and refusing to be manipulated.
- "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift - A playful yet empowering reminder to let go of negativity and focus on yourself.
- "Roar" by Katy Perry - A song about finding your voice, standing tall, and roaring your truth.
Let these songs serve as a soundtrack for your journey to freedom, self-discovery, and empowerment.
Escaping a narcissist might feel like walking through a labyrinth, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Whether you’re consulting your own cards or booking a session with me, remember: you have the power to reclaim your life and set yourself free. Let’s work together to light the way forward. Because, let’s be real, escaping a narcissist is the ultimate leap of faith—and you’ve got this.
Recommended Reading and Listening
To further support your journey, here are some resources to consider:
Books:
- "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle - A guide to mindfulness and escaping mental conditioning, perfect for those recovering from manipulation.
- "Dodging Energy Vampires" by Dr. Christiane Northrup - Learn how to protect your energy and heal from relationships with toxic people.
- "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay - A transformative book on self-love and emotional recovery.
- "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" by Dr. Karyl McBride - A must-read for those recovering from narcissistic parents or relationships.
- "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend - An essential guide to setting healthy limits.
Podcasts:
- "The Narcissist Apocalypse" - Features real-life stories of individuals who’ve escaped narcissistic relationships.
- "Heal, Survive, and Thrive!" by Kim Saeed - Offers practical advice on breaking free and recovering from narcissistic abuse.
- "The Adult Chair Podcast" by Michelle Chalfant - A mix of psychology and spirituality to help you navigate emotions and relationships.
- "Unlocking Us" by Brené Brown - Inspiring episodes about vulnerability, resilience, and finding your power.
- "Meditative Story" - Combines storytelling with guided meditation to help you find clarity and peace.
Listening Material:
- Meditation Albums by Deepak Chopra - Designed to help you ground yourself and connect to inner wisdom.
- "Energy Clearing for Life" by Sage Robbins - Guided meditations for releasing toxic attachments.